:: Scuba Diving at DSDC in Dubai

The latest HOT NEWS FROM DSDC

- SORRY GUYS THE CAMERA NEVER LIES - and you never know what it will spot.!

Advanced Divers in DSDC expertly anchored the Lion City Wreck on Friday
Unfortunately the boat was not anchored to the anchor and an embarrassing recovery was required

Never say again that Tech Divers spend so long decompressing they don't have any friends!

We now know that if their friends wern't there as they carry so much heavy gear they would not be able to get into the water in the first place.

Ahmed the Brave;
Takes DSDC diving where Girls fear to tread.....

we are blessed with some new signs at the ports in dubai where we launch our boats

we are relieved to know that at least we can throw the regularties into the harbour

but

we are all a bit concerned that we now have nowhere to park our locomotives (a common problem in dubai)
and seemingly they might prevent me bringing my diving equipment (and indeed the chieftain himself) into the harbour

ALAS WHAT TO DO?

at this stage those doing the advanced nitrox course got a little worried....
surgical gloves with gaffer tape are one thing -- but the white socks...mmmmmmm

look carefully -
the chieftain has jumped in the drivers seat and there is much amusement at our incompetence because they think we have cast off with out the driver.....

NOPE - sorry guys we are not that stupid...

and now ----- the embarrassment phase.......

at DSDC we aim to please...
hats, moobs, speedos and now --------- instructors in thongs

Ladies and Gentlemen..
I think the buttie chef has just about had it...

Bring..Bring...."Hello, International Rescue.........What, Again........." Click
Bleep, Bleep.... "Hello".. Virgil its Scotty, THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO"
"F.A.B Scotty"

Scotty Virgil Lady Penelope

co starring

Alan and Tintin at Mission Control

AND

Parker in his Mercedes Benz

Now What's that all about then?

%^&##@$#!!*(^%^&#@$!!!!!!!.......Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

and another hat....
the DSDC buttie chef tells members that his trousers will be staying firmly on - even if he is wearing a pink apron.
nice hat though chef.....

Order, Order....just because I'm on holiday does not mean you can hide these things...

Marc Bolan is alive - oh yes - and has been photographed at DSDC

And here is a picture of Marc Bolan in his diving gear - - as you will appreciate he cant go into the diving shop to buy new stuff in case he is recognised after all these years. In fact he cant even do any courses to understand we now use buoyancy compensators - still a good looking bugger though!

Ooooooops

Comments heard at DSDC this weekend;

Mr Mark - Boat wont run, gearbox broken, lets go back --- hmmm, how about lowering the engines so the propellors are in the water!

Mr Angus - 2 nd dive buddy check, damm ive got a problem, only 80 bar in my tank --- hmmm, how about switching to your second tank

Mr Julian - ascends from 1st dive, climbs into boat collects computer and returns - buddy check complete?!?

Miss Marion - these oxy analysers are broken ive got 99% O2 - - - hmmm how about putting some air on top of your o2 fill.

Lockie and his tickling stick

A wave to David from the Chuckle Brothers - yes David that's you..

Cliffy GETS IT - at last....

Guess Who -ummm? - derrrrrrr!......

How can a man sleep like this?

Mick over does the sun cream - wie aie man...

The Chieftain's gear - right way up!!!!!!

What did i say........................

Let it be known, at DSDC some people walk on water

Now.......this is a very worrying development.....

It he asleep or is he rapping,

Apparently - this is the owner of bigfoot

Silly Hats, Ridiculous Shirts and NOW ....... stupid shoes have been spotted at DSDC. Who on earth was wearing these and why is beyond me, however the real worry - what next? After all this neoprene willy warmers wont be a surprise.

As we can see this member could not quite work out who was taking the photo. I suspect when he finds out he's on this web site he will look even more surprised. Im sure he would like to know members in Dubai are commenting on the shirt in this photo - a new fad in Bahrain Dive Gear perhaps? However we've now concluded they may be missing a table cloth at home!

Proof that DSDC boys are easily pleased..

And another hat. Where will this end.......

Some things you just cant photograph;

At last nights Quiz -
Section of questions on the 1980's;
"In which year did the worst storm ever recorded hit the United Kingdom?"

Answer from the Chieftains Team:

1953

Make your own mind up......................

Mick the Pieman has breakfast.

MOOBS.....and speedos - a combination only found at DSDC.

......and Parsey's Hole

Very Funny.............. but i now know who you are..........

Stop laughing! - this is serious - we told you to breath the Nitrox,.......... but why did we tell her??????? We are not saying as we don't want to be sued by dodgy computer manufacturers.

Chuckle Brothers ala DSDC - Happy Days - but what's in the bottles boys?

Don't you find it annoying that you press the button on you digital camera and there is a delay of just a millisecond before it takes a picture. Nice neat entry though.

So here it is - to dive at DSDC you now have to have a silly hat?! both on and under the water - I see a bit of a challenge developing here!

and they told me between dives they had a game of golf.......with a swing like that......no chance.

HOT NEWS - DSDC DIVER UNDER ATTACK BY SHARK WHILE ON LUXURY HOLIDAY - well we hope he didn't get up you shorts and give you a nip.

Oooo er.... look what i've found.......this was meant to be a boys only trip.....say no more - don't want to cause a fracas back at HQ! (by the way its not what you are thinking.....if you are not from DSDC you won't understand this one)

AND I WONDER WHY - the chieftain surfaced here!!!!, no wonder they like going on holiday to this place.

.....and this little piggy... - went to the barby and.........scoffed all the food........another two kilos on your weight belt then laddie!

Mmmm - pointy toes = ballet training me thinks - guess who though - I'm sure those little legs would look lovely in stockings.

Just so you don't think this web site is too one sided here is a picture of one of the clubs instructors! Look carefully - is he really ready to go diving or can we wipe the smile off his happy face?

We thought Christmas was over 2 months ago but here is our membership secretary looking like a right turkey in February. After slicing his head open on one of the wing nuts on his wing we used the well stocked first aid kit to truss him up and left him on the boat while we went diving. He wanted to come until we said he would attract the sharks. Now he's been to hospital he's gone from turkey to monk after they shaved his head to stitch him up.

Hot rumor from Dubai ------ due to the credit crunch the treasurer has been seen heading to the airport in disguise and with a forged passport. If they don't get him at passport control we all know he is headed back to his home turf (bet you didn't know that it is there!) but it might be difficult to find him!

With so much of the dive industry focused on the fashion of looking good both on the surface and underwater we really must ask what is going on here? While you are looking at the photo and wondering what I'm on about, (surely its obvious or, as Terry Wogan often says, "Is it Me?") - can you also let me know what's going on with that instructors tank strap? See more photos of our training here.

Its Official - DSDC has a "Chieftain" rather than a Chairman after Jim Darbyshire led his clan through their first full blown Burns Night in Dubai. 70 Guests enjoyed a relaxed traditional evening at the club premises and the camera was put respectfully away after the first dance. However! - not before wondering about the significance of the three balloons in front of the Chieftains seat - did anybody check out the rumours by lifting his skirt. Here you can see Jim telling us how big they are - about the size of the ballons if Jims arm movements are to be believed. A full article is here.

A DSDC Member carried out part of his Advanced Diver Training in Fujeriah Harbour in January when he had to recover his car key from the Murk. Of course we are too charitable to join the arguement over who in fact dropped it - was it the receiver or was it the giver? Votes Please !!

Bob Thompson and Angus Carlisle had a surprise at Martini Rock in January when three boats of Divers, about 30 number in total, descended a mooring line when they were coming up it.

Bob was later seen sending a message to them when he started his second dive.

Members are debating exactly how many pies the diving officer had over christmas. Certainly there is evidence that his wet suit is now rather tight but he himself is not commenting as far as we know. His silly hat still fits as well so that a relief.

Rumour has it at DSDC that some members have now resorted to paying buddies to dive with them. We of course dont believe such lies but the early morning appearance of a wallet containing cash may lead others to suspect the rumours are true.

There has been talk of a web site called dive girl where the fairer species discuss what they get up to underwater. We are convinced that our own member Mr John has been reading all about it because he has recently been spotted diving with a condom on his head - just in case perhaps. We would suggest that he just puts it in his pocket but we were too busy laughing at the time.